So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
