Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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