I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she peed on how many people?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize