thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
