from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
