I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
