I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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