Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
