I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
