That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
