oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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