Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
