Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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