Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
