They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
