A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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