I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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