I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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