At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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