my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
