So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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