Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize