you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
