TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
