let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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