His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
