i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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