That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
