I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
