Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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