Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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