I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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