i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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