Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
