Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
