Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
