i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
