My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dignity is for republicans.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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