people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize