tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
