In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
