Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Buhtt sex?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
