I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
