its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
