i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
