it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
