so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So squirting runs in the family.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize