I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
