God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
