Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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