I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
