she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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