I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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