So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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