sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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