If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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