whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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