i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
