her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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